My Shamoopie

My little Shamoopie wrote a beautiful post about Liam Finn. She did however get one thing wrong and won't admit it. The guitar was a telecaster and not a stratocaster. That's all I have to say about that. :)

Quality meds

I am really glad that I can still get Quality Meds, Rolex copies, and hoochie mamas.

You see the amount of spam that I have been receiving has gone up drastically in the past month. It has all been the same three things. Quality meds, fake rolex watches, and lonely women with strange names who are all home alone and want to talk to me. It's good to be me....not. Who is falling for these things? The only thing that we could come up with at work was that is must be old people with computers.

The new plan to fight spam is to take away all the computers of anyone who can be a member of AARP. This seems like a very reasonable plan. Old people and anyone with a myspace acount who is over the age of 40 because they are just losers and/or pervs.

My first interview

I had my first phone interview today from a woman who asked me where I thought that the industry was heading. She asked me and is going to publish what I said. Of course I told her "In the toilet". Just kidding. I answered all of her questions as best I could and as truthfully as I could. Can't wait to see what she heard me say.

My boss says that I will be doing this more and more in the coming months.

During the interview all that kept coming to mind was the movie "Groundhog Day" and the line Bill Murray said, "I'm a god. I'm not *the* God... I don't think."

Then I would hear "You're not a god. You can take my word for it; this is twelve years of Catholic school talking. " Still not sure why I was thinking of this.

Pay 2 park

I have to pay to park at work. It's about $90 a month. Today I got a ticket for parking in my spot. I drove a different car and had the sticker in the car. They don't have it as a registered vehicle so I got a $50 ticket for parking in my parking spot.

Priceless.

It is going to take me at least a week to figure out how to clear this up. Oh joy of joys.

Johnny Depp would be proud, maybe not...

Arrrrr. My polly want me to talk like pirate today. Avast yeah. I have nothing to say and nothing to swash or buckle.

Pregnancy Brain

I never thought that it existed. But it does. It's a condition that affects a woman when she gets pregnant.

Shamoopie has been making me my lunch since I started my new job. She did a great job of including variety and nutrition. Until she got pregnant that is.

So today I get my lunch and I eat my sandwich. It was good. Nothing special. The chips were nice and so were the carrots. I even got some banana bread that she made yesterday. That was great. So I decided to eat my raspberries for snack at 2pm. I like an afternoon snack.

I went to the coffee shop and bought a soda. On my way there I called shamoopie and thated her for the nice lunch and asked how her day was going. When I got back to my desk I tried one of the raspberries and it didn't taste right. So like the genius that I am I tried another. I had to spit it out. I then took a closer look at all the raspberries. They were rotten.

In the trash they went. It did remind of the time a few weeks earlier when I open my lunch and found a granola bar. Not much else, just a partially eaten granola bar. I went out for lunch that day and when I got home I asked Shamoopie if she was mad at me. She said "No, why do you ask?" I don't know maybe it was the fact that you gave me a half eaten granola bar for lunch. She just started laughing and said that she was sorry and that it wasn't for my lunch it was left over from her lunch the day before and she was wonder what had happened to it.

Hense the proof that pregnancy brain does exist. When I got home tonight I asked her when she had purchased the raspberries and she said "oh about a week or two ago. We have more.... see. Why do you ask?" I asked he to look at them and all she could say was "yoooooooo...yuck".

Again pregnancy brain. A non-pregnant Shamoopie would not have that reaction.

She is still adorable.

Craig's list

Shamoopie complains about Craig's List. I don't know why?

The people never show up unless you are giving something away and even then they want to argue with you about it. One of my friends had some book shelves that he was giving away. A guy calls him up and says that he wants one of the shelves. My buddy gives him the dimensions and tells him that they are heavy. The dud says no problem and shows up with a Chevy blazer.

The Blazer is not the largest SUV on the market and the guy spend two hours trying to load the shelf into the blazer. Two hours later he finally gives up and says that his buddy has a pickup truck and he will be back tomorrow and he leaves my buddy to drag the thing back into the garage.

He comes back the next day with the Blazer, again and trys to load the bookshelves into it again. Like to today the universe will be in alignment and he will succeed! Not. After an hour he gives up again and leaves.

This time my buddy get out the chainsaw and just cuts it up so the trash man would take it.

Craig's list only a genius can use it and Shamoopie!

See no?

Didn't get a really good picture of this but the basic sentiment is there. The line See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil. The people who made this forgot about the see no part.

It's hear no, hear no, and speak no evil. The best part about this is that it was on display at a local community college. Really. A community college.


Apparently the see a whole lot of evil at the school and would like to remind everybody about it. Shamoopie and the Dude had a gig at the school this past weekend and I got to roam the halls while they played. This is what I found. Folk art, sort of.

Car repairs

So the Mercedes needed some general maintenance done. That's my car. It's a convertible. As it should be. We got a coupon in the mail from the dealership to do the service at what appeared to be a discounted some what normal price.

So Shamoopie makes an appointment and they offer a rental car if we drop it off during the day before 8am. Sounds good right?

Wrong. The rental car is just that a rental from one of the local rental places. They drive me to the place and the only car they have is a big white minivan. So I decline and they offer to drive me to more places until I get a car that suits me. Great, I get to waste all my time to get a car that should have been ready for me in the first place. It should have been at least a car that most people would drive. So I have them drop me off at the house and I drive the volvo. Yes the Volvo was a better choice than a beat up smelly minivan.

Then it gets better. The car needed an inspection. So the inspection was also scheduled. I get a call as soon as I get to work that they won't do an inspection since the tires are bad. I told them that they needed to do it anyway and fail it since you get 30 days to fix it and get it inspected again for free. But it means that you get the sheet of paper that says you attempted it so you won't get a $50 ticket for not having your car inspected. They still would do it because the car would fail. The only way that they would do the inspection is if I paid $1100-$1500 for four new tires. So I told her to stop the service which was supposed to take four hours to do since they were doing so much. She said she would and hung up.

I then get a call at 3:30 Pm from her telling me that the service was performed anyway because it was completed before she called me at 9am. Which either means that she lied about how long it take or lied about telling them to stop. Either way she lied. I was also informed that the service would be $400 that the coupon was only the starting point and because of my car the charge was more. But she did offer to take some money off since I didn't get the rental car that I was promised. Awesome.

So much for having a nice car. I am driving the Volvo until it stops.

The car stinks

Shamoopie has a post about her Volvo and how much she loves it. What does she drive? Not the Volvo. The car stinks. Literally it stinks. The inside smells differently depending upon the day. It ranges from a nice musty smell to old drunk urine. It pulls to the left. The turbo is out and now it is doing something weird at traffic lights. I can't even describe it.

The problem is that the road I have to take to work is bad. There is construction and people drive crazy. The Volvo is almost indestructible. It's a tank. It drives like a tank, corners like a tank and people tend to get out of it's way for fear of being hit. In that aspect only, it's awesome.

So I am thinking about a few upgrades for the old girl.

Maybe a panther wing like this:






Or maybe some spinners like these:









What do you think? She is looking a little dated.

Joe Cool Simpson baby

Not easy being me

As I have said before. It's not easy being me. Well one of us was wrong and the other was right. I am not going to say who was right but you need to see what Shamoopie is posting about "The Bird".

Remember who called it first. Me. That's who.

gloat..gloat...gloat...and oh yes.....GLOAT.