Car repairs

So the Mercedes needed some general maintenance done. That's my car. It's a convertible. As it should be. We got a coupon in the mail from the dealership to do the service at what appeared to be a discounted some what normal price.

So Shamoopie makes an appointment and they offer a rental car if we drop it off during the day before 8am. Sounds good right?

Wrong. The rental car is just that a rental from one of the local rental places. They drive me to the place and the only car they have is a big white minivan. So I decline and they offer to drive me to more places until I get a car that suits me. Great, I get to waste all my time to get a car that should have been ready for me in the first place. It should have been at least a car that most people would drive. So I have them drop me off at the house and I drive the volvo. Yes the Volvo was a better choice than a beat up smelly minivan.

Then it gets better. The car needed an inspection. So the inspection was also scheduled. I get a call as soon as I get to work that they won't do an inspection since the tires are bad. I told them that they needed to do it anyway and fail it since you get 30 days to fix it and get it inspected again for free. But it means that you get the sheet of paper that says you attempted it so you won't get a $50 ticket for not having your car inspected. They still would do it because the car would fail. The only way that they would do the inspection is if I paid $1100-$1500 for four new tires. So I told her to stop the service which was supposed to take four hours to do since they were doing so much. She said she would and hung up.

I then get a call at 3:30 Pm from her telling me that the service was performed anyway because it was completed before she called me at 9am. Which either means that she lied about how long it take or lied about telling them to stop. Either way she lied. I was also informed that the service would be $400 that the coupon was only the starting point and because of my car the charge was more. But she did offer to take some money off since I didn't get the rental car that I was promised. Awesome.

So much for having a nice car. I am driving the Volvo until it stops.

The car stinks

Shamoopie has a post about her Volvo and how much she loves it. What does she drive? Not the Volvo. The car stinks. Literally it stinks. The inside smells differently depending upon the day. It ranges from a nice musty smell to old drunk urine. It pulls to the left. The turbo is out and now it is doing something weird at traffic lights. I can't even describe it.

The problem is that the road I have to take to work is bad. There is construction and people drive crazy. The Volvo is almost indestructible. It's a tank. It drives like a tank, corners like a tank and people tend to get out of it's way for fear of being hit. In that aspect only, it's awesome.

So I am thinking about a few upgrades for the old girl.

Maybe a panther wing like this:






Or maybe some spinners like these:









What do you think? She is looking a little dated.

Joe Cool Simpson baby

Not easy being me

As I have said before. It's not easy being me. Well one of us was wrong and the other was right. I am not going to say who was right but you need to see what Shamoopie is posting about "The Bird".

Remember who called it first. Me. That's who.

gloat..gloat...gloat...and oh yes.....GLOAT.

My art

Remember. It's all about me. Me, me, me, me and oh yes...me.

If you are truly narcissistic you can have art made out of your DNA, sort of.

http://www.dna11.com/gallery_portraits.asp

These people will send you a kit to allow you to take a swab of your mouth and then they will make art out of it to make your room decor. I would like to see Sherwin Williams beat that! Then you will have something else to talk about besides yourself. Oh wait, I will still be talking about me when I talk about my new painting.

I wouldn't want my DNA. I wonder if Britney would submit to a swab? Or maybe Justin? :)

Begonias and pineapple

Not so long ago I was complaining to Lovely that she was getting too old and that I couldn't fool her anymore. All that changed one day while we were at one of Shamoopie's gigs. Shamoopie plays in a new age band which brings out the blue hairs in droves.

Lovely and I were sitting together to watch the show with the audience. Usually we watch the show from backstage or the side of the stage but this time we sat in the audience since it was an outdoor show.

During the show Lovely turns to me and says "I smell pineapple". I turned to her and with a straight face told her that was the old people sitting to our left in the shade of the trees. She questioned me once and I answered her back with a question. "What direction is the smell coming from?" She said "Over there". I asked and what is over there and she said, "old people". So she agreed that old people could smell like pineapple. I also tried to convince her that sometimes they smell like Ben Gay or peppermint but she wasn't so sure about that but she did witness the pineapple smelling old people.

Later after the gig we were discussing it again in the car on the way home and of course Shamoopie wounld not let it ride that old people smelled like pineapple. She had to spill the beans. Shamoopie was the one who ruined my begonias by telling Lovely that begonias don't have a smell. I had Lovely convinced that my gas smelled of begonias, well sort of.

Anyway, I was happy that I still was able to convince Lovely of something even if it was only for a short time.

Granny Dancing

I have coined a new term. "Granny Dancing" or "Granny Dancin" which ever you prefer.

What it refers to are the moves that older women do at shows when they can't get down and shake it anymore. There was an enormous amount of it at the show. Most of the women were over 40 and some looked to be in their 50s at least.

They kind of move back and forth and side to side in their "space" and never really doing much of anything. Like I said there were many of them there and they seemed to run in packs. Like at one time they all went to see Styx and now that the children have left home they are out to party like it's 1999. Wait a minute that was Prince.

Some of them actually brought their children. It was strange and wonderful to see all at the same time. They move like they are afraid that they might break a hip.

Well anyway, I call it Granny Dancing. You will know it when you see it. Whenever older women start dancing to the music by themselves.