My art

Remember. It's all about me. Me, me, me, me and oh yes...me.

If you are truly narcissistic you can have art made out of your DNA, sort of.

http://www.dna11.com/gallery_portraits.asp

These people will send you a kit to allow you to take a swab of your mouth and then they will make art out of it to make your room decor. I would like to see Sherwin Williams beat that! Then you will have something else to talk about besides yourself. Oh wait, I will still be talking about me when I talk about my new painting.

I wouldn't want my DNA. I wonder if Britney would submit to a swab? Or maybe Justin? :)

Begonias and pineapple

Not so long ago I was complaining to Lovely that she was getting too old and that I couldn't fool her anymore. All that changed one day while we were at one of Shamoopie's gigs. Shamoopie plays in a new age band which brings out the blue hairs in droves.

Lovely and I were sitting together to watch the show with the audience. Usually we watch the show from backstage or the side of the stage but this time we sat in the audience since it was an outdoor show.

During the show Lovely turns to me and says "I smell pineapple". I turned to her and with a straight face told her that was the old people sitting to our left in the shade of the trees. She questioned me once and I answered her back with a question. "What direction is the smell coming from?" She said "Over there". I asked and what is over there and she said, "old people". So she agreed that old people could smell like pineapple. I also tried to convince her that sometimes they smell like Ben Gay or peppermint but she wasn't so sure about that but she did witness the pineapple smelling old people.

Later after the gig we were discussing it again in the car on the way home and of course Shamoopie wounld not let it ride that old people smelled like pineapple. She had to spill the beans. Shamoopie was the one who ruined my begonias by telling Lovely that begonias don't have a smell. I had Lovely convinced that my gas smelled of begonias, well sort of.

Anyway, I was happy that I still was able to convince Lovely of something even if it was only for a short time.

Granny Dancing

I have coined a new term. "Granny Dancing" or "Granny Dancin" which ever you prefer.

What it refers to are the moves that older women do at shows when they can't get down and shake it anymore. There was an enormous amount of it at the show. Most of the women were over 40 and some looked to be in their 50s at least.

They kind of move back and forth and side to side in their "space" and never really doing much of anything. Like I said there were many of them there and they seemed to run in packs. Like at one time they all went to see Styx and now that the children have left home they are out to party like it's 1999. Wait a minute that was Prince.

Some of them actually brought their children. It was strange and wonderful to see all at the same time. They move like they are afraid that they might break a hip.

Well anyway, I call it Granny Dancing. You will know it when you see it. Whenever older women start dancing to the music by themselves.

The rest of the show

I became so overwhelmed by the Davis Spade aspect of the show that I forgot to comment on the rest of it.

Foreigner was by far the best act. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that there was only one original member in the group. The rest of the guys were much younger than the guitarist Mick Jones. They could all sing and play. The keyboard player should not have taken his shirt off. It just looked, well there is no other way to say it, gay. He looked gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that. The band just sounded great. The lead singer might be a love child of Steven Tyler because he looks just like him.

Styx played well and they sounded like, Styx. The keyboard player looked and sounded like a leprechaun. Other than that a great campy Styx show.

Def Leppard. The main act. Had all the lights and all of the sound system. They sounded like crap. Joe Elliot blew his voice out on the second song. I think he was just out of breath. The dude is fat and looks really out of shape. His "job" is to be a rock star. That's his job. I think that when they are off the road he hits the Ben & Jerry's a little hard. The guitar players should keep their shirts on. By song number two one of them had his completely off and the other had his open all the way down. Shamoopie says that Joe could never really sing and that his being out of shape just makes that worse. I expected better from the headlining act. We left early.

I have decided that to be a rock guitarist you must be in shape and take your shirt off. You don't really need to be able to play. Just be able to walk around with your shirt off.

It was great to see a one armed drummer and I must applaud the fact that they stuck by him after he had his accident. He seemed to play well but I have to admit that the there was not anything difficult being played on the drums.

As Meatloaf said"Two out of three ain't bad".

David Spade of Rock and Roll

OK. Shamoopie and I went to see Styx tonight as part of the show they did with Def Leppard and Foreigner.

At the Sytx poing in the show Shamoopie and I turned to each other and said "The David Spade of Rock and Roll". Tommy Shaw looks like David Spade, only of Rock and Roll. They might even be the same person.

Here is our proof.

David










Tommy












Take a good close look. This is conclusive evidence that the two of them are in fact the same person. Think about it. You never see them together. They are both little guys with blond hair. Your honor, we rest our case. God bless America. :)

Ford Focus drivers and others

Having a relatively long commute, (at least for this area) I have noticed a few "trueisms" about drivers and their vehicles.

People who drive the Ford Focus just don't care and seem to be really pissed off. This is the third day in a row that someone driving a Ford Focus (different car and different people each day) has swapped lanes and driven like a lunatic while I was driving home. They are driving a piece of crap and want to prove to you that it's not, so they drive really fast. I guess they figure that the cops will take pity on them since they are driving a Ford Focus?

BMW drivers always want to be in front of you and will cut you off at the drop of a hat. The same with SUV drivers.

All minivan drivers think that they are driving a Porsche. They are not. But they think that they are or are dreaming about driving a Porsche while behind the wheel of their minivan.

No matter what lane I am in on the interstate, it seems to be the one that everyone wants to be in. It's the "in" lane. I get in one lane and I stay there. If the lane stops. I stop and wait for it to start moving again. It usually does as soon as the guy in front of me gets out of it.

Back to the Ford Focus driver. All the lanes stop at one point where traffic merges and there is a big lane shift for people to exit and go in different directions. It's not a good design. People in the right had lane are going left and people in the left hand lane are going right and there is a large traffic group merging into this shift all at the same point. The lane that I was in was where Mr. Ford Focus wanted to be because my lane happened to be moving so he cut in front of me eating up all of the cushion that I had placed there in case my lane stopped. Traffic stopped right after he got in the lane but I had already backed off of him enough to stop long before I even came near him. So now our lane stopped moving. He somehow sped up and cut back into the lane he came from when it started moving again. My lane immediately started moving and his stopped. He was pissed. A woman did the same thing the day before and she was also driving a Ford Focus.

We are all going to get there people. It's a packed highway and all the lanes will move like an inchworm. That's just the way this traffic thing works. Too many cars for one highway slows them all down.

Traffic clears after this intersection and then comes the charge of the minivans. They speed up and go as fast as their engines will go to pass you to get to the next traffic point where everything comes to a halt again.

And so it goes like this every day on the the way home from work. People don't seem to be in a much of a rush to get to work in the morning. The drive much slower. Also the traffic opens up on the way to work at all the same points it closes down on the way home. Another great plan by the traffic engineers.

And Crypt Keeper will rock...

Van Halen is going out on the road but Dave has already been out there and acting wacky. He performs Jump on the Late, Late, Late Show.

You really need to see this people if you are thinking about going to see Van Halen. There was a whole CD of this crap made in 2006. John Jorgenson was leading the charge. I am now glad that I sold his signature guitar. It's worthless now.

Dave does look a lot like the Crypt Keeper. Take a good look people. That's all I am saying.